Dear
by Illusionary Ghost
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if the cast starting playing Dear Abby or Ann Landers to letters written to them? Complete for the time being .
1. Kagome

January 14, 2002. 

By Yashira

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Dear…..

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I am a 15 year old girl with a huge problem. I'm failing math class because I have to go back to Feudal Japan and search for the Shikon no Tama shards with a jealous Dog Demon, Perverted Monk, Noble Demon Hunter, Blood Thirsty Flea and Mischievous Kitsune. I don't know what to do. It's my responsibly to collect these shards but every time I get a whole bunch this Miko shows up, steals them, and gives them to the Evil Bad Guy who is trying to kill and torture me and my friends. And what's worse the jealous Dog Demon, who is really just a Half-Dog Demon is still in love with her and keeps meeting with her in secret. Meanwhile he accuses me of flirting with a Wolf Demon and gets extremely violent and bad mouthed when he's around. I don't know what to do. I think I'm in love the Half-Dog Demon, but I think he's dumping me.

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Yours,

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Not a replacement for the miko!

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Dear Not a replacement for the miko!

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I think you should stop going back and forth looking for the shards and just give up. You aren't going to get them and that's it. From what I can tell it seems this Evil Bad Guy you refer to has no difficulty finding the shards so you shouldn't penalize him if the Miko in question offers to help him. He must be too cool and sexy so the Miko probably can't resist him. Can you blame her? You're better off staying home and pulling up your marks.

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~Naraku

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p.s. You suck.

Oi,

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What the hell are you on?! I'm not jealous of that stupid wolf brat Kouga, who would be jealous of stinking wolf like him? I..er… Anyway screw your marks they aren't important at all, you should be staying here all THE DAMN TIME with me… and the others, yeah that's it. Next time I really will throw that rock down the well. Oh and another thing, I'm not jealous and I'm not sneaking around. Kikyo needs help and I'm just helping her, but that Kouga he's a punk and I'm going to kick his ass with Tetsusaiga if he comes sniffing around here again. 

Yours truly, a really P.O. 

~Inuyasha

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Dear Not a Replacement for the Miko

I think you got a lot of stress in your life and you need a break occasionally, even if it means going back and studying in your world. While marks are indeed important never forget that we need you in the past because without you we get stuck with a very moody Half Dog Demon and from experience it's not a pretty picture…. Especially since we have the Pervert Monk always asking women to bear his child. But you know what, I've seen Inu- er The Half-Dog-Demon's jealous nature when he's with the Wolf Demon and I feel sorry for you since he's totally insensitive to your feelings when he's two timing you for that Miko. Again I don't know what to do about it so I can only offer to slice him in half with my Hirakotsu. You're a nice girl, so just do your best.

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~Sango

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Okay, okay first thing's first:

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I'm going to clear up this rumor. I am not a pervert monk. I'd like to think of my self as culturally refined and I don't see anything wrong with offering my fatherly services with women who are so inclined… WELL IT COULD HAPPENED. And why do I get called PERVERTED MONK and Sango gets Noble Demon Hunter, that's not fair.. and don't say its not because she doesn't going around asking to bear men's children… It could happened. Anyway I have to agree that this is a big problem with getting the shards and having Inuyasha's girlfriend continually give them to Naraku… Afterall hasn't she tried to kill you a few times and all Inuyasha does is look off in the distance and let it go… or in the best situation hasn't he kissed her. Hmm, this isn't helping you any. Is it… You should give up on him.. and come bear my child…

(time passes)

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Okay I get the hint and my head hurts bad now. Here's a good note to remember, "Never write anything like that when Inuyasha is passing by and reads over your shoulder." Talk about violent, he's down right scary.. they go hand in hand.. I'd advise using the Osuwari as much as you can.. OH NO HE'S COMING BACK…..AH…….

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~Miroku

Dear Kagome

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I think you put up with too much from the jerk. Why don't you just drop him and take care of me only since I'm a growing boy. 

(time passes)

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Okay.. that's not fair, when did Inuyasha start snooping around and reading over shoulders? I should have took Miroku's hint.. it took me over an hour to get my letter back… He acts more like a child than I do. How can you put up with him? I never read over his shoulder, and yet he reads over mine. Kagome is Kagome, do the best the way you know it. Damn you Inuyasha give me back my ink!!

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~Shippo

p.s. Miroku's right, Osuwari help.

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Ha, Not A Replacement For the Miko,

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There's no way you can replace me, I'm irreplaceable. I say go out with that Wolf Demon and who cares what you do with your grades. I don't care, just so long as you don't involve Inuyasha in it. He's mine and I mean to do what ever I want with his life. Just remember that. Oh and as for Naraku, it's NONE of your business.

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~Kikyo

p.s. Why don't you die already?

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Dear Not a Replacement for the Miko!

I find it easier to say nothing. It's safer that way.

~Myoga

Dear Kagome

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Don't give up Kagome, I know you can succeed through these troubled times. Just keep doing your best. Inuyasha is stubborn and so is that Wolf Demon, but I'm sure you can make your way through it all. Remember, you have a big soul and a big heart… Never underestimate the power of it… also the power of that Osuwari... Oh drat, Miroku and Shippo already mentioned it. Oh well, it just means that three times the charm.

Yours truly, 

Kaede

Hey Beautiful!

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Grades? Other world? What are YOU talking about? Just know that your place is with me! I will take care of you. After all you're my woman and that's all there is to understand. I don't care about Inu Kuro. He's just jealous because he pales in comparison to me. Oh he has a woman already? What the hell is he trying to do? Keep two women? Dump him and go out with me!!!

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~Kouga

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…

~Kanna

Dear Kagome

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Kagome-chan, please keep your marks up, be true to your manners, and watch yourself. You always have a place at home, so work hard.

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~Love your Mama and family

Dear Not A Replacement For the Miko~

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I don't know why you're worrying over this stupid fool. He's a classless wit, a mere shell of a heir to the dynasty my father left behind. He'll amount to nothing because he is nothing. If you had any brains you'd dump him and go back to where ever you came from.

~Sesshomaru

p.s. Jaken says he looks better in that dress anyways.


	2. Miroku

January 15, 2002.

By Yashira

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Dear…

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I have this terrible problem. I have this hole in my hand and it's getting bigger and bigger with each day that passes. I don't know if I can catch the guy who put it there since time is running short and he keeps disappearing on me and my friends. All he seems to know is how to make our lives a living hell… before he takes off and hides. I know he sounds like a flea I know, but this is getting so serious. If we don't catch him I have to father a child to take my place and I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND A GIRL who will do it... At least none my age! I need help here, what about you, can you bear my child?!

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~Signed a Desperate Monk

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Dear D.M.

Shut up and stop whining. Why don't you just die already since the purpose of that hole was to get rid of your pathetic existence, NOT to prolong it. By the by, you will never catch me because I'm just soooo good at laying traps and tricks for you. You obviously are a very stubborn bastard who doesn't know the meaning of the word LOSE, but I wished you would take one of my many hints and DIE. Why bother fathering children, they're just going to die like your father. No one in their right mind would bear your child. 

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~Naraku

P.S. 

DIE!!

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Oi Miroku,

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What the hell are you doing? Are you like Kagome, getting so desperate that you have to go and plead on paper too?! Naraku's going down so I don't know why you have to get so concerned. I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!!! Ahem, get a grip or you won't have to worry about that hole killing you, BUT ME!! 

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~Yours truly the "kick ass" Inuyasha

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Dear Desperate Monk

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Don't do anything hasty and by all means DON'T panic. We're all in this together. Naraku hurts one of us, he hurts us all and don't think to take any more of his hellish wasps either or I really will let Inuyasha pound you next time. But about finding a nice girl to be the mother of your child, I'm sure someone like that is closer to you then you think…

(Time passes)

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Okay I had to just calm down Inuyasha, but it's his own damn fault for reading over my shoulder and thinking the wrong thing. I wonder who taught him such a bad habit. But you were right about the Osuwari, it works ^=^V.

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~Kagome

P.S Girls might take you seriously if you stop copping a free feel.

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Dear D.M.

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So you have a problem, so what. Fertility issues don't concern me..

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~Sesshomaru

…

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~Kanna

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"Snicker"

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What this? You're going to die? Oh well, it doesn't concern me, just so long as you're not going to touch MY Kagome. Hold on… Inuyasha's asking for a beating… be right back...

(Time passes)

and passes…

and passes…)

Okay, now that I "kicked" his ass, I'm going to reassert myself. Do what ever you want, but if you touch my Kagome, I'll end your life that much faster than Inuyasha and Naraku.

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~ From "a don't you touch my woman" Kouga

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Dear D.M.

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Hmm, if you're going to blow up, don't take Inuyasha with you. Also I'm not interested in bearing your child or anyone else's child. I'm dead remember.

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~Kikyo

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Miroku…

Sniffle, Miroku I feel so bad for you, but I just remembered something you once said. Remember that time when we were all talking about Inuyasha's mindless side and you said you'd run away by the time he'd eat me… I think we'll all run away by the time you blow up so you don't have to worry about taking us with you. Hmm that doesn't really help you does it..

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~Shippo

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P.s. Sorry.. I didn't help Inuyasha either that time when I asked him why Kagome helped Kouga after he kidnapped her and stuff… he got very mad too.

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Dear Miroku

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Miroku just concentrate on destroying youkai and the rest will follow. Just remember 3 important rules. 1. Get them first. 2. Don't get caught. 3. When all else fails.. RUN! 

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~Kaede

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P.s. I'd be honoured to bear your child but you're 50 years too late.

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Um, D.M.

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Hmm, that's good advise from Kaede. Run and run often.

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~The one and only Myoga  


Dear D.M.

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I can't believe you, taking this out on the public at large! We all known Naraku's going to "get" his in the end soon so you have nothing to worry about. Hold on a second, Kagome is looking over my shoulder.

(Time passes)

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Arrgh, what's with Kagome saying, "I'm worried about you." I don't care who is the mother of your child! I just don't think you should advertise to the world about it. I mean what's the rush.. it shouldn't be with a perfect stranger should it?

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~Sango 

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P.S. I am Not in love with you AND I'M NOT JEALOUS!!


	3. Sango

January 16, 2002

By Yashira

Dear…

I'm probably the only one here aside from Kagome-chan that has some sort of stable personality. I'm a pretty tough warrior and demon hunter if I say so myself since I come from a long list of demon hunters before me. If anything the person who should be writing this letter is Inuyasha and NOT me. He's the moody, over-sensitive, jealous, two timing Half-Dog-Demon, NOT me. I don't have any problem at all... well maybe just a little one. I hate being left alone... abandoned even. Ever since that jerk Naraku destroyed my village, killed my family and stole my little brother it's become a problem that I find difficult to deal with. 

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Yours the troubled Noble Demon Hunter.

  
**Noble 'don't make me laugh' Demon Hunter:**

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The only thing you can catch is the air in front of you and even that takes timing on your part. Your real weakness, the one you fear most, is betraying your friends again in order to save your brother. It is a weakness I know well and one which I will exploit to its fullest. If you thought fighting Gohaku was hard, I wonder how you will feel knowing that at any time without your knowing it that I could just simply pull the shard out of your brother's back and let him die. *Grins* And you would just never know when.

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~the Bad ass Naraku~

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Oi Sango…

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Are you sure you don't got a problem here? Aside from this small fear of being left alone, and lets face it with us around that won't happened, you forgot to mention your petty jealous whenever Miroku's hits on another girl. Personally I don't really understand it myself, why you would go for a guy like him, but if Kagome says it's there… then she may know something afterall. And don't worry about your brother… Naraku still has a use for him which is why Gohaku won't die. I can handle all this. So don't worry.

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~A confident Inuyasha

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P.S. And Kouga what kind of B.S. were you spouting the last time about beating me? Dream on, you suck, there's no way you can win against me. So take a clue and leave Kagome alone before I have to get serious.

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Dear Sango-chan

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Inuyasha is right about one thing. We'll always be there by your side so don't go off alone anymore. We'll take Naraku on together and save everyone. Also you did neglect to mention your "concern" you have for Miroku… Are you sure you're not protesting too loudly?

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~Just a thought, Kagome

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Ho hum:

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Again this doesn't concern me at all. Who cares about one boy or a girl's fear of loneliness. Unless it involves Inuyasha or Naraku directly I don't want to involve myself.

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~Kikyo

….

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~Kanna

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Oh Yeah?!

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Inu-Kuro… thinks I lost to his measly self!? What a complete fool! Look, Kagome is my woman and even though I may leave her in your company for now, don't suppose that means something. I will be back for her.

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~Kouga

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P.s. Hmm was I suppose to give someone advice here?

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Sango…

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I sympathize with your situation since I can relate to loosing family members. Just don't loose heart, but keep faith. You have friends who love and care about you so don't forget that.

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~ Yours the venerable Kaede

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Hmm

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Eh.. siblings aren't everything. They get born… killed… get use to it.

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~Kagura

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To the "demon" hunter:

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Bah, what do I know of loneliness… and family??

You're asking someone that has a half human for a brother and as far as I am concern it's way better with out company. At least you don't have a child running around your feet all the time or a retainer who half incompetent and the other half stupid. It gets tiring.

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~Sesshomaru

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P.S Rin loves Sesshomaru. Rin stop doodling on my letter!

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Big Sister

I'm so sorry about all this.. I know its not really my fault.. but…but… gah.. I don't want to remember it all.. I don't want to.. it hurts too much… I'm sorry.

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~Gohaku

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Dear Sango:

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I haven't met you yet, but I'm glad you're one of the people protecting my daughter. You have a place in our household should you need it.

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~Mrs. Higurashi

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Hey cutie:

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Hey, what's this I keep hearing about you liking me? Sango, is there any truth to this rumor??! Also one other thing, what this about a few stable people? So I'm a bit free with my hands, so what, I'm still one of the most stable people here. But you're right that Inuyasha should be the next one to write something like this.. afterall he's the one with the most problems and he causes the other half too… But enough about him.. how about bearing my child? ^=^

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~Miroku


	4. Kaede

January 16, 2002

By Yashira

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Dear

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I have this problem. My undead sister was recently brought back to life and she won't stay dead. She causes more grief and heartache then when she was alive 50 years ago. I get stuck listening to all the problems she causes and while I don't mind it so much I constantly seemed to be the ear hole for a certain hanyo who confines in me so often that I feel like I should be paid. And he's always in the wrong and too stubborn to understand that. What am I doing wrong?

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~Signed Overworked

Oi Kaede.

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What the hell are you implying?! Just because "I talk" to you, doesn't mean I have any problems. And what the hell is this about saying I'm wrong all the time?! I'm not WRONG ALL THE TIME!! And another thing, I CAN'T do anything about Kikyo so don't insinuate things…

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~An irate Inuyasha

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Wow:

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Got to beat Naraku at posting this time! Hehehe. Anyway we can all see that Inuyasha is definitely feeling guilty about something since he brought up Kikyo's name. ^^ Poor Kaede, I can't blame her for being tired and exhausted because Inuyasha is in the wrong A LOT of times. He does have issues that need resolving, but being that Naraku and Kikyo don't look like they're going away any time soon this problem will be with us a good while.

~Yours Miroku

DAMN both of you to hell!!!

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How dare you both accost me on the way to the post box and eat my letter??! Just wait Miroku! Inuyasha! I won't forget this! You thought you had it bad before, but now it will be hundred times worse. And Kaede, I don't see why you're even complaining since all you do is sit on your fat ass and do nothing by listen to people gossiping all day long. At least you got free stuff coming in in compensation! Bleh, now I broke my nails typing this up… you are so dead, the both of you.

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~Naraku

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Kaede:

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How could you? You're my own sister, you would think at least you would take my side in this. Any problems that happen aren't my fault, but belong solely to Kagome since she's the common denominator. She's the one, once you remove her from the picture, that you will find as the source of where all the problems come from. Without her, Inuyasha wouldn't be torn. Without her, Inuyasha would be mine only. Without her I would be complete.

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~A fuming Kikyo

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Dear overworked Kaede:

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I'm so sorry Kaede. You always are so patience that to get replies like this coming in is so rude. We hope you will continue to listen to our problems and how did you like the rabbit and pheasants my son caught? I'm sure we can get you a lot more should you need it….

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~The grateful villagers

….

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Kanna

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MWUAHAHAHAH:

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Heh, you have to go to an old woman to get advice from??!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

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~Kouga

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Poor Kaede, 

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At least your words are valuable if you think about it. At least he comes and talks to you even though it would probably be better he talk to Kagome directly. The way he and her get on sometimes….Hold on.

(Time passes)

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Sorry Kagome and Inuyasha were passing through and had to hide my letter fast. But the way both of them get on, you think you had global warfare… They're both just too stubborn sometimes. Just keep doing what ever you do and some day Inuyasha will take the hint to talk to Kagome directly.

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~Yours Sango

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P.S. Until then just keep guilting him. He deserves it.

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Hey Kaede

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You're still going to make those Inuyasha jokes to me right?

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~Shippo

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Oi Kaede

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What's this about Jokes?

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~Inuyasha

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Hey, Inuyasha:

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It's only one letter per "dear" reply. You're out of bounds. We'll have to throw your last one out.

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Signed Yashira, the list mommy. ^=^

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Damn you Yashira

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~Inuyasha

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Hmm that one goes out too.. ^=^V

~Yashira

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Dear overworked:

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I think this is quite pointless, I don't care who takes Inuyasha into their confidences. Although he has a flea for a retainer so an old woman does match his personality… pathetic.

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~Sesshomaru

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Hey:

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What are you implying?

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~Myoga

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Dear Kaede

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I'm sorry that you have to go through a lot of that stuff, but you know how Inuyasha is. Also I think Kikyo was a bit off in her comments. That was totally uncalled for. Her arguments can go the other way too you know. If it wasn't for her, Naraku would NOT have got the Shikon no Tama shards and he wouldn't have got new powers... nor would he have escaped from us and gone into hiding. But you know what, it just doesn't matter because Inuyasha will protect her anyway… Sigh… This is just so depressing.

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~A depressed Kagome

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P.S. Kaede you're doing okay as is, sometimes people need another person to talk to before they pick up their guts to confront someone. 


	5. Kanna

January 16, 2002

By Yashira

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Dear

….

~Kanna

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Oi

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Who is this?

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~Kouga

Hmm…

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I haven't a clue

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~Souta

Look..

I don't care

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~Kikyo

Dear Kanna

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She looks familiar. Isn't she that youkai who tried to suck up Kagome's soul?

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~Shippo

Dear Kanna

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Yes, it is. Does she have a problem too?

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~Miroku

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P.s. Too bad you're so young or I'd ask you my favourite line. Hmm that never stopped me before... Hey can you bear my child?

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Dear Kanna

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I can't tell what's the problem is? But beware of Miroku he has hasty fingers.

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~Sango

Dear Kanna

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Maybe she just doesn't like Naraku?

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~Kagome

Oi Kanna

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Who does??!

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~Inuyasha

Oi Kanna

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I hate his guts.

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~Kaguya

Kanna:

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Join the Club

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~Sesshomaru

Dear Kanna

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Hmm…

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~Myoga

Dear Kanna

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It's my daughter/sister something.. hmm I don't know what the problem is either…

~Naraku


	6. Inuyasha

January 17, 2002

By Yashira

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Dear…

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What the hell do I have to write this for? I have no problems, WHATSOEVER! AND MIROKU YOU ARE SO DEAD! What the fuck were you thinking sucking up my first couple of letters into your Kaza Ana?! I don't see anything wrong with what I was saying. Just because I called you a.. okay.. okay.. I'll lay off you for now since I don't want to write letter number 7 so put your Kaza Ana away…

Stupid monk doesn't have any right to censor my letter, I never interrupted his.. or did I? Naw. Well I still think this whole idea is stupid, I'm not like Kagome who has to cry about everything, who takes offense to everything and goes running back to the well each and every damn time I say something she doesn't like. If anyone is over emotional it's her NOT me. How the hell can I be called moody, violent, selfish, temperamental and scary? Has anyone seen Kagome when…

(Time Passes and a bunch of osuwari later)

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Um… Ow.

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~Inuyasha

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P.S. Did I forget to mention Kagome is scary when mad?

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Hmm Inuyasha,

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You forgot to mention one thing. You're a complete and utter waste of space. I don't know why Kikyo wanted to spend the rest of her life with you, but I'm glad it didn't work out. Stop following after her, she doesn't need you. She wants to spend time with the greater hanyo and that doesn't mean you, but ME. Who are you to get in between us?! Yes, yes, it's a love-hate thing, so what… It's there and you can't deny it.. so go away.

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~Nakaru

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P.S. Why don't you and Miroku get together and experience the final moment of his Kaza Ana.

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Hey:

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Why do you keep harping on Kagome this and Kagome that?! You said YOU would be there to PROTECT ME!! If you're going to do that you can't be concerned about her too. You have a DUTY to me.. you said so. As for Naraku... I let it go for the first couple of letters, but who ever said I wanted you? Please, I'm not interested. If you have a problem with that... please take it up with Inuyasha.

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~Kikyo

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Hey, Onnesama

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Inuyasha already has someone to protect.. please let him do it. Of course Inuyasha you do need to look over your feelings carefully since there are many unresolved issues haven't dealt with. This Kikyo isn't the real Kikyo.. it's a shell made from mud…and emotion… she's not Kagome.. Are you even listening?! You need to get your issues straight. I'm sorry Oneesama, but Inuyasha needs to protect someone else… we need to move on and you're just not good for him.

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~Kaede

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Hey Kagome 

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Look at his bad points again, he's got lots right? Now look at me. Don't I look appealing!!! ^v^ V Serious. Inu Koru how can you compare with me when you have all these faults unlike you I CAN COMMIT and I don't run around when I choose a girl. As far as I am concerned you aren't even competition. Lets go, Kagome!

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~A true Kouga

….

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~Kanna

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Hmm.. 

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Yes, sounds exactly like my ill-bred brother. Prepare Inuyasha… I, Sesshomaru will put you out of your misery. 

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~Sesshomaru

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Hmm:

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Well this is hard to say since you see me everyday. I kinda should fear for my safety, but Inuyasha you are A COMPLETE AND SELFISH IDIOT!! Yes it's true too! I don't know why Kagome puts up with you. As I said before you act more like a child then I do. To this day you haven't sent Kikyo on her way, nor taken her off your heart and all the while poor Kagome has to suffer with your indecision. What kind of guy are you? Kouga would treat her better and that's saying a lot since he's suppose to be the bad guy.

(Time passes)

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~Shippo

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Um:

..to anyone wondering I had to sign Shippos's name to his letter since Inuyasha is currently chasing him around the village with Tetsusaiga raised. Sigh.. he really is temperamental and violent. I don't know what to say really except that he really has to come terms with his feelings towards Kikyo. Inuyasha, I know you'll protect her; I know I'll have to step aside for you. But don't forget I think we were meant to meet too. Just don't shut me out of your life completely. I may be here for you, but I also have feelings too.

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~Kagome

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Sugoi:

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I'm so moved Kagome I'm so proud of you. Now excuse me while I go hide, knowing Inuyasha he's probably nearby having a temper tantrum and I don't want to get caught in the middle of it.

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~Myoga

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That's my daughter

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~Mrs. Higurashi

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Yeah Oneesama:

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Wow, what a letter.. this is why I'm so glad you're my sister. You have such a big heart. You're able to let him do what he wants, but why do you came home mad sometimes?

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~A confused Souta

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Well:

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I think you, Inuyasha, need to get your act together as soon as possible. You have such a patience girl that to leave her waiting really distresses me. Oh yeah.. AND I'll suck up any other letters that mention you using Tetsusaiga on me too so keep that in mind.

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~A grinning Miroku

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Hmm Inuyasha

You got a BIG PROBLEM… Denial. D E N I A L! You have lots of problems; so many you can't even start to count them. After reading Kagome's reply and comparing it to yours.. don't you ever wonder what life would be like without Kagome chan? Shouldn't you try to curb it down especially for her?

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Sango

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P.S. I think it was rude of you to insult Kagome in your opening letter. She may be emotional sometimes, but haven't you notice it's only when you step all over her feelings?


	7. Kikyo

January 19, 2002

By Yashira

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Dear…

__

I really don't know why I should write this at all. I can handle the problem I have. Afterall I took care of the Shikon no Tama **all** by myself so I do know what I'm doing by entrusting it to Naraku. It's not like I'm going to let him keep it after he gets all the pieces, but I think it's a smart policy to let the bastard who killed me, do all the work instead. Then I will send him to hell and take Inuyasha with me.

~Kikyo

****

Dear Kikyo:

__

That's what you wants us all to believe, but think about this carefully. I know how to use the Shikon no Tama, how to create extensions of myself, how to hide and run, and how to dance. If you trusted your "beloved" Inuyasha as much as you thought you did, you would never have sealed him away those 50 years passed. Furthermore if you trusted him, you would not have taken the shards from Kagome and given them to me. Get off your high horse Kikyo and take a good look at yourself before you start calling me a bastard. Hmm, true I didn't really have a father I was created from youkai and Onigumo's lust, but why look at technicalities? 

****

~Yours Naraku

__

P.S. Isn't it fitting that she was trying to use me to get to Inuyasha? And by the way you love me, you know you do.

****

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BS, NARAKU?!

__

You're one for talking? Kikyo explained everything to me, and there's no way she would give my life over to you period!! Don't think you can twist the facts to suit your warp mind, because I won't fall for it. I don't look stupid, you know!! I ain't falling for it again!! I'll get all the last shards and then I'll rip you apart and take the ones you have too! Then me and Kikyo will show you what the true power of the Shikon no Tama is for. Kikyo and I will…

(time passes…)

__

That bitch, what the fuck did she osuwari me for?! And that's not remotely funny Miroku so why are you taking her side saying, "she was worried about me?" If she was so worried she wouldn't break my fucking back all the time!!!

****

~A P.O. Inuyasha

****

Dog-turd, you are so dead!!

__

You son of bitch, literally and physically, what the hell are you doing hurting making my Kagome's feelings. Not only do you have to have TWO women, but you lead MY girl on as if she means something to you. That is unforgivable!! Listen up and listen well, I'm going to tear your fucking head off!!!!!

****

~Kouga

****

P.S. I MEAN IT!! DIE!!!

****

Oneesama.. 

__

You always were a loner. You always did stuff yourself, never letting anyone come close to you… except when you met Inuyasha those 50 years ago. But… but now, I don't even know you. You were born from clay and dirt and yet your hatred has never left you. You are not the same woman that I knew as my sister, Kikyo, I don't even know you anymore. 

~A troubled Kaede

__

P.S. You only hate Naraku right? You see I'm old, if you walk into the hut like you did last time you could stop my heart again with that look and maybe this time it won't start again. You can see why I want a warning.

****

Dear Kikyo:

__

You know Kikyo, you may know what you're doing, but the way you go around jerking Inuyasha's heart about really sickens me. It's bad enough he can't decide on his own feelings, but he does have Kagome here waiting too and it's not fair to her. Other than that are you sure you can't bear my child??

****

~A hopeful Miroku

****

HEY:

__

I can't believe you Miroku. You just wrote that letter in hopes of a free feel didn't you!? 

****

~Sango

__

P.S. You cause us the greatest grief Kikyo. If you didn't go around giving the shards to Naraku we wouldn't have had to deal with his offspring Kanna, Kagura and the multiple of other bastards he's created off himself. I think you just live to cause trouble. 

…

****

Kanna

****

Hey:

__

I heard that Sango, prepared to die!!

****

~Kaguya

****

Kikyo:

__

Sigh. Kikyo, why do you have to hate me so much? What did I ever do to you? Is it because of Inuyasha? But he loves you, there's no place for me in his heart when he's thinking of you. I can't compete with that… and god knows that I wanted to try. I don't think you hate Naraku as much as you say you do, but saying that still won't change that you tried to kill me… that you stole the shards and gave them to him. 

****

~Kagome

__

P.S. Here's something I'm confused over. If you send Naraku to hell.. and then take Inuyasha there with you… won't you just meet up with him again?

****

Pffffffts 

__

Is what I say to you!!! I don't know why they all say Kagome is the reincarnated version of Kikyo, because I don't see it at all. She would never have tried to kill you, or give the shards to Naraku… she's the most nicest girl I ever met. You aren't like Kagome at all. If Inuyasha ever chooses you I'm going to bite him as hard as I can. 

****

~Shippo

__

P.S. And like Kouga, I MEAN IT TOO!!!

****

Hey Kikyo:

__

Sounds like you're going to have quite a party in hell Kikyo, be sure not to invite me, I'm allergic to hell flames.

****

~Myoga

****

Hmm:

__

Aren't you allergic to any forms of danger? Sounds like you'd be more afraid of Inuyasha and Naraku.

****

~Sesshomaru


	8. Sesshomaru

January 19, 2002

By Yashira

****

Dear:

__

I don't know why I'm wasting my time on this measly letter since it's only going to be read by you deadbeats, but to put it very simply, I don't have a problem. I'm absolutely perfect. So there!

****

~The Almighty Sesshomaru

__

P.S. I'm too sexy for this post. So sexy it hurts…

****

Hey,

__

Someone's pretty full of himself, and for once it's not me!

****

~Miroku

__

P.S. That just made me too sick to my stomach. Please, my eyes, don't do that pose again.

****

HA:

__

You just didn't like it because Sesshomaru is a man. I'm sure if it was Kagome, me, or any of the ladies here, you would have cheered.

****

~Sango

__

P.S. But I could see the similarities between the brothers now that I think about it. Both of them think they're perfect and yet they're so loaded with problems. Is it a family heritage to be so "blessed?"

****

Oi:

__

What the hell does that suppose to mean Sango? There's nothing wrong with me, he's the idiot born with all the defects. And stop that stupid dancing, you're getting as bad as Naraku.

****

~A disgusted Inuyasha

__

P.S. Dad did always like me best!

****

Well:

__

At least I can dance.

****

~Naraku

****

Wait a second:

__

I thought Inuyasha was Sesshomaru's problem? And viceaversa?

****

~A confused Myoga

****

Hey:

__

I'm pretty sure I can take him, so don't mess with my superior speed and Kagome or you'll have to deal with me.

****

~Kouga

__

P.S. Kagome, babe, what are you doing later, let's have lunch.

****

Dear Sesshomaru:

__

I'm pretty sure we could fill in the blanks on the problem you do have. Hold on, I'm going to make a 10 Greatest List Problems that you have.

(time passes)

10 Greatest List of Problems Sesshomaru denies that he has:

Arrogant. Hates Inuyasha. Thinks he's superior to everyone. Hates Inuyasha. Has a tail that needs cleaning. If it isn't a tail.. dear god I don't 

know what it is.

Hates Tenseiga and wishes he had Tetsusaiga. Dad always did like Inuyasha best. Missing a hand. Showing up where he's not wanted Can't get out that green stain when he uses his poison attack. 

As you can see you have a whole list of problems. I suggest you get counseling and counseling fast.

****

~Kagome

__

P.S. Hmm I'm sure he wouldn't deny that he hates Inuyasha, but didn't he say he was perfect just now?

P.S.S Um Kouga I can't… Inuyasha is here with me and he wouldn't understand.

****

!!!

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING? ARE YOU SERIOUS THINKING TO GO OUT WITH THIS WIMPY WOLF? 

****

~AN OUTRAGED INUYASHA

P.S. AND DON'T THROW OUT MY POST YASHIRA… I KNOW YOU'RE WATCHING.

****

Um…

__

You do realize I can boot you from this list you know.

****

~A concerned Yashira who sees so many caps that she's wondering on the safety of some of the members

****

Um Kagome?

__

You do realize that number 2 and number 4 are the same. You sure you aren't neglecting your studies?

~A concerned Mrs. Higurashi

****

Hey woman!

How disrespectful!! Sesshomaru-sama is the most perfect demon there is. If there are any minor technicalities, it's only because he has to degrade himself to speak to you horrible people. You should all bow down and worship the great SESSHOMARU-SAMA!!!

****

~Jaken

__

P.S. SESS IS GREAT!!!

****

Dear Sesshomaru:

__

Rin love Sesshomaru-sama.. 

****

~Rin

****

SMILES:

__

Yeah, there's something about Sesshomaru. He's strong and mysterious.

****

~Kagura

****

Hey:

__

That's a tail?

****

~Shippo

P.S. I gotta cut this short, Kouga and Inuyasha are about to kill each other.. again.


	9. Kouga

January 21, 2002

By Yashira

****

Dear…

__

Problems?! What kind of problems could I, KOUGA, have?! Well aside from Inu-kuro and that bastard Naraku, I have everything under control. Oi Kagome, shall I rescue you from Inu-Koru and his two timing hanyou self, yet?

****

~Kouga

__

P.S ^=^

****

Heh:

__

Aside from? Isn't that rich coming from a purely over emotional youkai who can't control his temper or wit? You make it too easy to set you up, trap-wise and joke-wise. Kukuku, I have varying decrees on how to make your life a living hell… namely Kaguya and Kanna for starters not to mention me. It really depends on how much attention you deserve. 

****

~Naraku

__

P.S. Which really isn't much with your pea size brain.

****

WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH YOUR STUPID MOUTH KOUGA!?!

__

RESCUE?!! Kouga, the only person she needs rescuing from is your stupid wimpy wolfy form. What the hell do you think this is? Some sort of dating service?! 

****

~A P.O. Inuyasha who is going to beat the hell out of Kouga

****

Well:

__

It didn't stop some people on the list from asking everyone else to bear his child, did it?

****

~Sango

****

Hey:

__

That was different. I'm sorely in need.

****

~Miroku

****

Feh:

__

A mere wolf pup you hold no interest for me.

****

~Sesshomaru

****

You know…

I think it's safer if I hide behind Kirara. I'm getting the definite premonitions of trouble coming from Inuyasha and Kouga.

****

~A "I'm not hiding, just moving to a more comfortable place" Myoga

****

MEOW

****

~Kirara

__

…

****

~Kanna

****

Bleh:

__

Since all this fighting is stemming from some petty jealous that has Kagome being the root, wouldn't it be simpler if we just kill her so that we wouldn't have this problem anymore?

****

~Kikyo

__

P.S. I make a better object to fight over you know.

****

Um Oneesama:

__

That's making the bad vibes worse.

****

~Kaede

Hey:

__

Whaaaa... not Kagome.. no one hurt Kagome… if you have to hurt someone shoot the youkai who's the idiot.

****

~Shippo

Question:

Which one? Aren't there too many to count?

****

~Kagura

Dear Kouga:

__

Kouga-kun, it's really nice and all that you like me and such, but I can't go out with you. You see I… hang on Inuyasha is screaming here.

(time passes)

__

Stupid Inuyasha saying "what the hell are you being nice to him and all, just tell him where to go…" and then asking me, "oi, you don't really like him do you?" Hang on he's still cursing.

(time passes)

Osuwari!!!!!

That's it I'm going home!

****

~Kagome


	10. Naraku

January 26, 2002

By Yashira

****

Dear …

**__**

MUWHAHAHAHAAAA… I get the first post before all of you fools!!! Kukuku… and again just for good measure!!! Kukuku!!! YES THAT FEELS GOOD!!! 

*breaks into song* 

"Like I knew it would.. so good.. that's good.. I FEEEEL gooood… YAOOOW!!!" 

*coughs* 

I'm the absolute genius, the hanyou among hanyou, the greatest lord to walk the land… All fear and bow before the awesome greatest that is me… Kikyo worships the ground I walk on, Miroku's fears for his short life, Sango no longer has family, Kagome, hmm still gotta do something to her, and Y…

(time passes)

__

Okay that's it!! Don't think I'll forgive any of you .. that was completely uncalled for.. I Naraku will be avenged.

****

~A pissed off Naraku

****

Huh?

__

Did something happened?

****

~Shippo

****

Oi:

__

What the fuck are you ALL looking at me for?! I didn't do it.. although I wish I did.. even thought I don't what the hell it was that just happened.

****

~Inuyasha..

__

P.S. Don't go there with Kagome..!!

****

Hey:

__

That's right leave MY woman out of this.. and that goes for you too Inu-kuro. 

****

~Kouga

****

You know:

__

It wasn't me either, but it should have been.

****

~Kikyo

__

P.S. Stop making comments about me.

****

Hmm:

__

Well, I agree. I will actually praise the one who did what ever it was that obviously was a good thing… Who wrote my lines? I wouldn't say this? It's clearly beneath me. Jaken go find the script writer, and behead them.

****

~Sesshomaru

****

Dear Sesshomaru-sama

__

Hai.. right away, almighty Sesshomaru-sama.

****

~Jaken

****

Hmm?

__

Contemplates booting Sesshomaru and Jaken from the list.

****

~Yashira: The list mommy

****

Hey!

__

Damn what happened, I'm curious…

****

~Kaede

…

****

~Kanna

****

You know:

__

I'm too scared to ask…

****

~Myoga

****

HAHA:

__

I'm not, what the hell happened Naraku.

****

~Kagura

I'd do it again too:

__

The idiot was gloating so much over us that I had to shoot him.. and my aim being a bit off, hit him somewhere where the sun don't shine. ^=^

****

~Kagome


	11. Rin

January 29, 2002

By Yashira

****

Dear…

__

LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… HE'S THE GREATEST!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… LOVE SESSHOMARU-SAMA… 

****

~Rin

__

P.S. I love Sesshomaru-sama!!!!

****

Dear Rin:

__

You got a serious problem here. I would advise help… then again I think you both need it, considering he's a grown demon and you're just a little girl. You and powder-puff boy are better off at the bottom of some hole, preferably Miroku's Kaza Ana. Also Sesshomaru's tail worries me sometimes…

****

~Naraku

****

Oi:

__

Is it just me or does anyone else see how sick this is?!

****

~a disgusted Inuyasha

__

P.S Sometimes?!

****

Feh,

__

Don't make me laugh, Inu-koru, you probably want to join in.

****

~Kouga

…

~Kanna

****

Dear Rin:

__

You have a serious problem I think you should stop this hero worship and move on. I'm sure you can find someone else as your presence with us.. er.. with Sesshomaru and me.. er Jaken.. would only be a.. oh no…

(Time passes..)

__

FORGIVE ME SESSHOMARU-SAMA.. I JUST HAD TO TRY TO GET RID OF HER… OH NO, NOT THE SWORD WITH GOSHINKI'S TOOTH AGAIN.. EYYYAAAA….

****

~A repenting Jaken

****

Hey:

__

Beating on your servant again, Sesshomaru? How passe? But he did have a point, why don't you give up on that child and try for a woman... like me…

****

~Yours waiting, Kagura

__

P.S. Bring your tail.

****

Dear Rin:

__

Hmm, what's a problem with a crush?

****

~Shippo

__

P.S. I always did wonder if that was a tail or a feather boa, it was always so fluffy.

****

Dear Rin:

__

It's just awesome that you follow Sesshomaru around so blindly. I guess the older you get the more tougher it will be though. I speak from experience.. just enjoy what time you have left..

****

~Kagome

****

*Smirks*

What's that suppose to mean Kagome? Are you advising her to back away from Sesshomaru should he choose another? My, my, my.. that would be good advise since you tend to do that for Inuyasha and me. He and I were meant to be together. If not in life, then in death, but he is MINE.. and he knows it and you know it so don't stop on my account.

****

~A pleased Kikyo

****

Oneesama..

__

That was rude. 

****

~Kaede

__

P.S. I know she's my sister and all, but could you give a warning Yashira. That really was cruel what she said just now.

****

Dear Kikyo:

__

If you don't be nice to Kagome, not only will I boot you from the list, but I COULD write a fanfic with you and Naraku you know. So I'm watching you…

****

~Yashira: The list mommy AND who is currently really P.O. at Inuyasha and Kikyo right now that she'd probably kick out Inuyasha too.

****

Hey:

__

What the fuck did I do, now?!

****

~Inuyasha

****

Dear Inuyasha: 

__

Be quiet you, are you trying to make yourself a target?!

****

~Signed Miroku

****

WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?!

~Getting very mad, Inuyasha

****

Dear Kagome:

__

Say the word.

****

~Yashira

****

Dear Inuyasha:

__

OSUWARI!!!

****

~Kagome

****

DAMN YOU.

__

DAMN YOU BOTH!!!

~A really furious Inuyasha

****

BOOTS OUT INUYASHA!!

**__**

Dear Yashira:

****

*shoots arrow*

**__**

~Kikyo

****

BOOTS OUT KIKYO!!!

****

Dear Everyone:

__

Anyone else GOT something to say?"

****

~Yashira

__

P.S Carry on less I start booting you also.

****

Oh my:

__

How old is this child? Should I call child Services?

****

~Mrs. Higurashi

P.S. Yashira, about those mood swings I have some great herbal tea for you.

****

Hmmmm:

__

Rin, if that little green toad tries anything use his stick. Also, please don't hurt me, Yashira, I don't hold the same views at Inuyasha and Kikyo. SPARE ME!!!

****

~A scared Myoga

****

Dear Rin:

__

It's okay to have a crush just don't let it go to your head. Some people here are perverts and tend to get the wrong idea.

****

~Sango

__

P.S. You wouldn't do a fic with me and Miroku right? (Please say no.) Just checking.

****

Sango:

__

He goes out with a little girl and YOU call ME, a pervert? Also, what's wrong with having a fic with me? 

****

~A clearly offended Miroku

__

P.S. Inuyasha wants me to ask if booting is permanent.

****

Dear Miroku:

__

Answer to Sango: Maybe.

Answer to Miroku: I wouldn't be asking me right now.

****

~Yashira

****

To all you fools:

__

I will not dignify your insults with even a reply

****

~Sesshomaru

__

P.S. Rin stop playing with my tail.

P.S.S. Well at least two productive things were dealt with today. Now that Inuyasha is gone, give me his sword!!!


	12. Kagura

January 31, 2002

By Yashira

****

Dear…

__

Yeah I got a problem. I'm forced to work for this bastard Naraku! He's, on occasion, threatened to end my existence outside of him whenever I fail in his plans for Inuyasha. I want him dead, damn it, but I don't know how to get it done. 

****

~Kagura

__

P.S. I have a crush on this dog demon, but he doesn't seem to notice me. What do I do? 

****

KUKUKU:

__

Don't make me laugh. You like pansy boy? I'd thought I'd raise you better. 

__

Anyhow, dream on Kagura, you can't get rid of me. I OWN you! Without me your pathetic existence is minscule, to say the least. Give up your petty objections and just accept the fact that you are one of my worthless scions and if you continue to fail me you will be brought back in like Onigumu was.

****

~Naraku

****

Nooooo!!!

~Onigumo

****

Dear Kagura:

__

Shall I shoot him again?

__

Btw.. Inuyasha asked me to add this, so it's not me saying it.

Oi Bitch, you don't have to worrry about Naraku going to kill you, you got that, but ME, ME ME!! MUWHAHA… 

****

~Kagome and Inuyasha

__

P.S. Inuyasha wants to know when you'll let him sign his own letters again.

****

What the hell?!

__

What ever you do, Yashira, don't let Inu-koru back in on the list. He's got no place near MY woman and he's must be doing something bad if he's sharing posts with Kagome. You're so dead, you little perv.

Oi, Kagome! Why are you letting Inu-koru write with you?! After I destroy this bitch Kagura for her deceit over my wolf allies. I will come and rescue you from Inu-koru. 

****

~Kouga

__

P.S. Who in their right mind would date you?

****

Whoa:

__

Wow, is it just me or did the hit list for Kagura just go up?

****

~An Amazed Shippo

****

Dear Kagura:

__

Well I think just this once I'll offer the use of my Kaza Ana.

****

~Miroku

__

P.S. I'm still waiting for that fic.

****

Wow:

__

Miroku actually threaten a woman, instead of propositioning her. Should I be worried? I wonder if he has a fever.

__

~Sango

__

P.S. No… don't do a fic with me. He'll do perverted things.

****

Dear Sango:

__

And that would be bad?

****

~A puzzled Miroku

Hey:

__

Of course it would be you perverted houshi, I don't want people thinking I would like it.

~Sango

****

HEY!!!

__

I wrote a problem here, I'd like some feed back, you jerks!!

****

~An unhelped and really mad Kagura

****

Look: 

__

Pansy boy? I wouldn't talk by the way you dress and look after yourself. You think you were a girl, the way you wear your eyeshadow.

Who would help someone that smells of Naraku? Especially someone as weak as she is. I'm clearly insulted, although I do understand that I am pinnacle of perfection and why all the girls swoon over me.

****

~Sesshomaru

__

P.S. Give me his sword.

****

Look Sesshomaru:

__

Girl, not girls, Girl. Last I looked there was only one and she wasn't of legal age.

****

~Naraku

****

Dear Sesshomaru-sama:

__

Shall I use my stick on Naraku no hentai yaro?

****

~Jaken

****

Dear Kagura:

__

I'll be sure not to go near you with so many bad vibes about. I'm sure someone would die fast... and I don't want that someone to be me.

****

~A scared Myoga

__

I would use my mirror but it has a crack in it.

****

~Kanna

__

Oh my god, she spoke!

****

~Jaken

__

Is it the end of the world?

****

~Myoga

__

BEAR MY CHILD! No wait... you are a child.

****

~Miroku

__

MIROKU!!!

****

~Sango

****

Dear Yashira:

__

I, Kikyo am speaking through Naraku's post, and I'm informing you that I've filed a complaint with your elders and I'm expected back shortly. I'll be back.

****

~Naraku aka Kikyo at the moment

****

Dear Naraku aka Kikyo:

__

I have elders? And here I thought I got rid of the other voices.

****

~Yashira

****

Dear Yashira:

__

Inuyasha wants to know why he gets penalized every time he gives a double reply, and yet everyone here gets away with it... hold on he's mad about something and wants me to add…

(time passes..)

You know what? There's no way I'm going to waste my post with him threatening and asking why Kikyo is with Naraku. If he wants to do that he can go find someone else… What was that Inuyasha?

…

Oh yeah? Osuwari!!!

****

~Kagome who stopped writing for Inuyasha

__

P.S. OSUWARI, OSUWARI, OSUWARI, BAKA, BAKA, BAKA, OSUWARI, OSUWARI, OSUWARI

Dear Kagome:

__

WHOOHOO!! Good, now lets go out!

~Kouga

****

Dear Kagome who isn't, but had been writing for Inuyasha:

__

Hmm.. I was just as amaze as everyone else that Kanna spoke. So I wasn't paying attention.

****

~Yashira


	13. Jaken

February 26, 2002

By Yashira

****

Dear…

__

My problem is that I'm little, scrawny, and GREEN! If there was a contest for hide the grape, they'd definitely pick me!! And the shameful part of this is that I can get picked on by a girl… even that brat Kagome can jump on me. 

SIGH! 

What am I to do? And its not like I can complain since I live to serve my almighty master,** and who kicks major ass I might add, **but it's a royal pain. If it isn't Kagome, I get pushed over by the whims of the talkative girl Rin.. WHY SESSHOMARU-SAMA? WHY MUST I TAKE CARE OF HER?!!

****

~a depressed Jaken

****

Dear funny green headed thingie:

__

Just cuz… 

****

~Yours Rin

****

Dear Jaken:

__

I'd like to take the time and sing a song that I overheard Kagome once singing….

"It's not easy being green… you blend in with so many other different things…"

****

~A giggling Myoga

****

Oi, I'm back!!! And Jaken you bastard:

__

You may be able to take on Kagome on a fight, but remember this… I will bust your green headed remains to the four corners of the world if you so much as try your luck hurting her! And if you can't understand English, that means die you son of %^&#%^&%^#&#^%$%^%$%$!!

****

~Inuyasha

__

P.S. And ^%$&^$&*&^ to all of you who just wrote to Yashira privately telling her not to let me back in! I know who you are!!! KAZE NO KIZU!!!! BAKURYUUHA!

****

Damn the dog-turd is back!!

__

I'm not ashamed to admit it! It was me!!! And you think you can hit me with such a wimpy attack!

(time passes)

PFFFFFT!!! You can't even hit! HA, you missed! HAHA, you missed yet again. Man, you leave the ml for a little bit and your skills go to hell.

****

~A not amused Kouga

__

P.S. Then again you are a piece of dog turd.. your skills sucked from the start.

****

Dear Jaken:

__

You are a green little piece of fairy dust…. FAIRY DUST?! Those aren't my words!!!

(time passes)

__

OKAY, WHY THE HELL WAS I CENSORED?! INUYASHA DOESN'T GET CENSORED AND HE SAYS A LOT WORST THINGS THAN I DO!!! ANSWER ME THAT!!

****

-A pissed of Naraku

__

P.S. And what the hell IS Inuyasha doing back in the list, I thought you booted him??!!! I was one of those who asked he'd not be allowed in.

****

Dear Naraku:

__

Well, did you ever stop to think it's because I don't like you?

****

~Yashira: List mommy

__

P.S. I let him back in, I can't stay mad at my little itoto for long you know.

****

Dear Jaken:

__

Look at the good side... at least you're not dead and green. Like moss… or that weird stuff that wobbles in the bowl. I know Kagome said it was edible, but it was scary!

****

~Shippo

__

P.S. Why do you mean, "There's always room for Jell-o."

****

Dear Jaken…

__

That may be a problem, but look at the pros of being short and looking like the colour of grass. If a pretty girl comes along all you have to do is look up and...

(time passes)

__

Ow, damn. Sango that hurt, you didn't have to hit me so hard. It wasn't like I said "I" would do it. I was just letting him know the possibilities. 

****

~Signed a sulking Miroku

****

Dear Miroku:

__

You degenerate little pervert. If I don't stop you, no one else will. If everyone followed your advice, no one would wear dresses or kimonos anymore!

****

~Sango

****

Hmmm…

__

Move over Jaken. If you have complaints about the job… I'm more than happy to "serve" Sesshomaru. And I do mean serve. 

****

~A modest Kagura

…

****

~Kanna

****

Dear Jaken:

__

Am I to hear this correctly that you have problems with my orders? It is such a disgrace to have a servant like you voicing all his dirty laundry in front of the whole group. I'm very ashamed of you Jaken.

****

~Sesshomaru

****

Dear list:

__

WHAHAHAHAHAH ! I made it back on. Step on this Yashira!

****

~Kikyo

****

Dear Kikyo:

__

You only made it back because I was outvoted. And I'm demanding a recount since I'm the only one who voted!

****

~Yashira

****

Dear List:

__

Oh dear, my Kagome has come down with a fever… I must tell you all that I'm taking care of her as we speak. She wishes you all well and hopes to come back soon.

****

~Ms. Higurashi


	14. The Villagers

February 28, 2002

By Yashira

****

Dear…

__

OUR POOR VILLAGE!

__

Every time we get ahead and get food stored, our homes have their supply of wood, our goods ready to be traded and our houses built… some foul mouth youkai comes along and sets fires and destroys our village. We try to make ends meet, but it's getting harder and harder… we tried setting traps, enlisting mikos help, and all other things, but the problem still persists. WHAT ARE WE DOING WRONG?!

****

~Signed the Villagers of Musashi

****

OKAY:

__

This is getting stupid! Now that I can finally write my own letters again, THIS is WHAT I have to reply to?! Look, just because I destroyed your village once… ONCE!! Doesn't mean I do it repeatedly. Sure I have a habit of getting really violent, but that doesn't mean anything!!! If you got a problem, take it up with Naraku! NOT ME! And I don't have a foul mouth, you fucking bastards!!

****

~A Pissed off Inuyasha

P.S. I still never found out what the hell Kikyo was doing writing from Naraku's last time?

****

Hmm..

__

Take it up with me? Next pathetic fool to open his mouth gets to become meat for my next youkai.

****

~Naraku

__

P.S. Any takers? I need the spare body parts.

P.S.S. Oooh jealous Inuyasha? Do you really want to know what we did? Kukuku.

****

YO NARAKU!

TELL ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!

~Inuyasha

****

To Inuyasha:

^______________________^

****

~Naraku

****

To Naraku:

KAZE NO KIZU!!!!!!!!!!!!

****

~Inuyasha

HEY!!!

__

Okay, here's a word of warning, do you two want to leave the list for a short while? Your letters are preventing the others from writing! I know there was talk about Kikyo and Inuyasha both being off the list at the same time, but just imagine the chatter when its BOTH Inuyasha and Naraku, this time. :)

HEHE.

Also, I could almost tolerate it if you were fighting over Kagome, but you aren't, and did it just pass over your head, but she's not here and she's sick too? I'm not happy about it and neither are the Kagome sympathizers out there either. Although those who like Kikyo are probably delighted!

Are you two going to behave?

(Waits a bit for them to send her letters privately)

__

Hmm, I don't know if this was a good idea, I got anything but a yes. 3 swear letters, one recipe of Oden, 2 c/o packages with precious bean snacks, 5 indecent proposals… seems like Miroku pressed the send button one too many times. 

Ooh, one of you asked if I'm really Inuyasha's full blooded sister (for that you need to read the "Sister, Sister" story, (but, hehe, as yet I haven't been able to transfer all my notes to the computer, not all the needed info is up, but that doesn't mean I'm not trying…). Ah, several more requests to write that Sango and Miroku fic. Good news Miroku, I have notes for such a fic… But this is besides the point, I'm still waiting for Inuyasha's and Naraku's answers.

****

~Yashira: List mommy

__

P.S. Good, they came in now although this looks... oddly like Miroku's writing. Oh well, now behave.

****

Dear Yashira:

__

I can't believe you just plugged your own story. Hmm, while you're at it, can you plug my shop of swords? 

****

~Toutousai

****

RETURN TO SENDER

****

To Naraku:

Naraku, I wouldn't make any threats like that if I were you. You forget that if you touch my old village or go after MY Inuyasha, I'll just purify you. You know I can too. 

~Kikyo

__

P.S. If I can make it back on this list.. I can make it anywhere.

P.S.S. I always knew Yashira was bias against me.

****

RETURN TO SENDER

****

Oneesama:

__

That first P.S. just sounded wrong. It was almost something that Miroku would say. Also, Yashira isn't as bias as some of the other people out there, given some of the comments I've seen used when referred to you, you should consider yourself lucky. I'm just glad I'm not a BIATCH.

****

~Yours Kaede

__

P.S. That wasn't a typo either, people do spell it like that too.

__

P.S.S. Why is Inuyasha and Naraku so quiet? I'd thought they'd be cussing and fighting again by now.

****

Dear Villagers:

Please forgive Inuyasha's temper. As you can see he's just very temperamental. I don't think he took the whole booting thing from before too well and now that Kagome's is ill and Kikyo… well Kikyo's back on the list... it isn't helping matters much. BUT on a good note, when Kagome gets back she'll have a hell of a lot of reasons to use the magic word on Inuyasha, so you can all look forward that! ^=^

****

~Miroku

P.S. I'll TAKE care of the women.

P.S.S. Because me and Sango tied down Inuyasha, and Naraku kinda had a run in with Sesshomaru at the moment.

P.S.S.S YES… I GET THE FIC!!! WHOOHOOO!!

****

RETURN TO SENDER

****

Dear Villagers:

Never fear we will always be there to defend you from loud mouth two timers to centipede youkai and perverted houshi. 

~a confident Sango

P.S. You may want to hide your women when Miroku's around. ^_~

P.S.S. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE FIC!! HE'LL DO PERVERTED THINGS!!

****

RETURN TO SENDER

****

Dear whoever is spamming the list:

PLEASE STOP SPAMMING IT.. OR I'LL HAVE TO BOOT EVERYONE AND THEN INVITE THOSE IN THAT I HAVE THEIR ADDRESSES FOR... 

****

~Yashira: List Mummy

P.S. If you haven't guessed, I'm still currently fighting that vote on letting Kikyo back in so it would take a while before I can invite again. Still…I don't know how I could have been outvoted. I'm the only one here.

****

Stupid "return to sender" errors:

__

Some bastard fucked with my address book and I just know its Inu-koru's doing. Bleh, he is so dead. 

I had to go and ask MY woman for the correct address. Poor thing, she's so ill right now, that I'm going to go back to her and tell her everything that's going on in the list, like the "faithful" wolf I am, and keep her warm. At least I'm faithful.. unlike some dog-turd we all know.

Anyway, I never have been to your stupid little village, I don't have any interest in it.

(time passes)

*Snickers* I see Inuyasha got tied up by some miserable humans… how pathetic. I'll send Kagome your wishes, although I'll be the one warming up by her side.

****

~Kouga

****

Dear Villagers:

I can see why you're concerned. What with Sesshomaru chasing Naraku around with Goshinki's tooth, Inuyasha fighting Naraku or Kouga.. or even Sesshomaru around the village.. I can't blame you. Although you have to wonder why you stick around in this area. Why not move to a cave or something… or.. hmm.. Why do I have such bad ideas!? I'm not like this when Kagome's around. WAAAAAAAI… Kagome, please get better, so I can say something witty or clever!!

~A depressed Shippo

P.S. Although its quite funny seeing Sesshomaru whip Naraku's ass with his poison whip. I didn't know Naraku could jump that high.

****

Feh, 

__

Who cares about the villagers, they're just stupid little cretins who have no place here except to serve the greater power. Dance of the dead!!! AHA, watch their mindless selves DANCE!!

****

~Signed Kagura

P.S. Sesshomaru is chasing after Naraku you say? I must see this for myself!!!

…

****

~Kanna

****

Hmm…

Kanna is quiet this time.. I wonder if that means the threat of the "end of the world" has passed?

~a concerned Myoga

__

P.S. Kagome get better.

****

Let's see:

__

Villagers are humans and are beyond my care or concern. As for Naraku I'll give him credit... he can run fast when he wants to. 

****

Sesshomaru

__

P.S. Oh by the way, Rin is exempt. If you have a problem take it up with Jaken.

****

Dear Sesshomaru:

WITH ME?! I shall use my stick! 

~A whining Jaken

P.s. BUT WHY ME?


	15. Totousai

April 2, 2002

By Yashira

****

Dear…

__

My problem is two-fold. I.E. 2 brothers. Sesshomaru … aloof and stuck-up idiot. And Inuyasha hot-shot and big mouth idiot. I don't know what their dad was thinking when he had me commissioned to make swords for them. They're both so not worthy of my precious blades... and then the elder stupid one gets this blade made from Goshinki's tooth while the younger stupid one goes running around using the "Kizu no Kaze" on everything in sight. I'm too old for this. It's so damn annoying!!!

****

~Totousai

****

Hey, Old man:

__

Well you got part of that right, they're both stupid. Now why don't you just pack up and die… or better yet why don't go find us a bigger and better youkai to beat the stuffings out of Inuyasha. I'm sure you, in your infinite wisdom (yeah right) can locate an even bigger and badder youkai. Hmm, wait a second, I am that bigger and badder youkai, what was I thinking?

****

~^______^ Naraku

P.S. Hey, that sword was my son, I demand you give it back right now!!

****

Hey peon!

Give it back? Don't make me laugh!!! Come here and try to take back!!! We still haven't determined how truly high you can jump from the last time. 

As for you, Totousai, if you thought you feared me before, you will have much to fear now. How dare you slander me on this list… I know my rights, the list mommy is a law clerk and I can sue!!! Aloof I may be, but stupid I am not… I see how fast you run when I'm nearby with a lawsuit on my hands…. I believe it's time I give you a test of Goshinki's tooth.

****

~Sesshomaru

P.S. As for the bigger and badder youkai, you must be mistaken for only I Sesshomaru, am BIGGER.

****

Dear Sesshomaru:

__

Provided that I wanted to help you. Do I want to help you? Also which Yashira are you asking? The creator or me? If it's me, there's no way I'll help a stuck up older brother, but if it's the other Yashira… it's really up to her whims. Remember this is the same girl who booted Inuyasha from the list… er wait that was me. Nevermind.

~Yashira: list mommy

__

P.S. Hmm, this may explain why I was outvoted the last time regarding Kikyo?

****

Damn right,

I applied to your betters, and when that failed, I gave Kagome a cold that knocked her out in the last letter. Want me to do that again?

****

~Kikyo

****

OI!

It was you, you damn bitch, how dare you give Kagome a near fatal cold!!!

If I wasn't so tied up and about to kick Inuyasha's and Naraku's ass right now, I'd take you on next.

****

~Kouga

  
_P.S. I'm the baddest youkai around!!!_

****

Bows before the mighty Sesshomaru-sama:

__

Aye. My lord is certainly the most tallest Youkai around.

****

~Jaken

****

Sesshomaru-sama is the greatest, the greatest, the greatest…

__

Daisuki!!

****

~Rin

__

P.S. Sesshomaru-sama is bigger than I am.

****

Hmm:

__

I don't quite think he meant it that way little girl and little toad. Nee, Sesshomaru, can you prove your claim that "you're bigger?"

****

~Giving a suggestive wink Kagura

****

Oi!

__

Size has nothing to do with it you perverted bastards! I may be short, but I can kick your ass any day. And Totousai, what the fuck was that about me and my Kaze no Kizu? Come here and say that to my face, you bastard. You're lucky I don't beat you up for that slander!

****

~Inuyasha

__

P.S. Er… NO, I'M NOT JOINT SUEING HIM WITH MY BROTHER, I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE TERM SHOWED UP FROM!!!

****

Waiii:

It always comes down to size... Why am I soooooo small?

****

~Shippo

****

Hey:

__

If you think you're small? What about me?

****

~the undersized Myoga

……

****

~Kanna

****

Hey!!

__

When the hell did the conversation turn this way? I'm more interested in the female anatomy… not… you know… the male one. Now if we were to talk about how pretty Kagome-sama, Yashira-sama, and Sango are, well that's different.

~Miroku

****

LMAO:

You've got to be kidding? A topic that actually makes Miroku uncomfortable? I'd thought you'd be up there with Sesshomaru flirting how big you are. I guess you're not as confident in your manliness as you let us all believe.

****

~Sango

P.S. Er, not like I would know how big Miroku is or not... or small… um... I'll stop before I dig myself any further.

****

Um Inuyasha, Myoga, and Shippo:

__

I think you missed the context of what they were saying. It's, well, er… ACHOOO…

Sniffle, I still haven't really got over that cold yet and Mama says I can't stay out too…

(time passes and the mood suddenly changes)

EEK!! 

Okay, I just got felt up by Miroku cuz he said he had something to prove. Will you guys lay off the "big" jokes, or I will give you something to sue about? 

****

~signed Kagome who is holding up her bow and arrows

P.S. And that was a nasty cold Kikyou gave me. I don't think I deserved that cold!

****

Missed it?

__

I think it went over their heads…. And stayed in orbit. 

****

~Kaede

__

P.S. Totousai, these young people don't understand the old ways, you should be like me, just shut up about it and tag along, then when they do something dumb, you laugh.

P.S.S. Hey nice to see you back on the list Kagome. 

****

What?

Kagome's back? Waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! I missed you Kagome, I'm sooooo happy you're back. What took you? It was Inuyasha's fault wasn't it? Ah, you're still a bit feverish… let me get some cold water for you! 

~A now happy Shippo

****

Kagome-chan!

__

Welcome back, let me just beat the crap out of Miroku for you. He shouldn't be feeling you up to begin with, especially with you still being a bit feverish.

****

~Sango

Where is that monk?!

__

Kagome comes back and the first thing he does is feel her up?! You're so dead Miroku!!!

****

~Inuyasha

Hey:

__

You didn't even know she was back, going on about Kikyo while she was gone... hey... watch where you aim that sword… HEY!

****

~Miroku

P.S. OH YEAH! KAZZZZZZA ANNAAAA!!!

Kagome!?

****

~Yashira

__

Osuwari

****

~Kagome

__

Thank you

****

~Yashira

Okay:

__

And you wonder why I constantly talk of Kikyou, at least she didn't sit me all the fucking time!

~Inuyasha

Dear Inuyasha:

That girl just jumped back into the well.

~Totousai

OH #%^%:

__

Well I'm not going to get her and that's it. 

~Inuyasha 

__

P.S. Damn it, why is it always my fault?!


	16. Myoga

August 11 and 25, 2002

(Author's note: Nope, I haven't forgotten this fic.. just trying to find a free moment to transfer the next two dear letters.)

Dear…

By Yashira

****

Dear ….

__

My problem… my problem is very embarrassing really. You see… sigh… because I'm so small, people instantly think that I'm afraid of everything that's bigger than me. The truth is THEY ARE AFRAID OF ME! No one likes bugs so as soon as they see me they RUN!

What looks like running on my part however is actually them moving away from me when I accidentally fall off. Because I'm so small I fall of often. *much put upon sigh* Yet, because of this, I've been given a bad rep as a coward. Someone who runs away constantly. Just what am I suppose to do when its not really my fault?

****

~A distraught "Not scared little flea" who fell down again

****

The truth?

__

You can't handle the truth you miserable little flea. You're a disgusting has-been youkai who has delusions of grandeur when all he does is run away. Why not come here and let me test you as I change and sort through the best youkai bodies. 

AH HA, I see you run away even further. I thought so. I wasn't serious anyway, who would want your powers at running away.

****

~An amused Naraku

__

P.S. Go bite yourself!

****

Hey Dog-turd's Servant boy:

__

I hear monkeys eat fleas. Wouldn't Babboonbutt only be trying to entice you over so that he could eat you? 

Btw, Naraku, don't you run away all the time, you and Kagura and Kanna, so who the fuck would know the difference?

****

~Kouga

****

Don't make me laugh Wimpy wolf:

__

Talking about running away, aren't you the king of it? 

****

~Inuyasha

__

P.S. And don't try to lie out of it either, we've seen you run and run often!

****

Oi, oi:

__

Hey be nice! At least we know where it's safe to hide. Who else has that ability?

~Shippo

****

*feeling relieved*

__

Somehow that makes me feel better… especially knowing even bad guys run too.

****

~A tearful Myoga

****

Nee, Myouga:

How could that make you feel better? Are you trying to equate yourself to the bad guys? Don't you remember Inuyasha hates them both and wants to kill them… are you sure you want to group yourself into such a group?

****

~A concerned Sango

****

!!!

__

OH dear god, NO!! Am I doom?!

****

~Myouga

__

…

****

~Kanna

****

Myouga:

__

Well perhaps you may have one good point. After this dubbing from Viz and the fact that we're all going to sound like some backward country hick who all married their first cousin, you may have some wisdom in the matter. 

****

~A "I love SUBS, HATE DUBS," Kaede

__

P.S. I heard Kagome has nasal problems and Inuyasha sounds like a wimp… Is it me or should American voice actors be flogged? Gees, get some damn training like they do in Japan.

****

Say Myoga:

  
_Look on the bright side. At least we know it's safe where you are._

****

~Kagome

****

Lol:

__

Nice repeat, Ms. Air head. It's already been done, but of course how would you know with you being out of Musashi every 3 days or so. 

(time passes)

Ahh!!!!!!!!

That damn flea tried to bit me!

****

~An annoyed Kikyou

****

*Snickers*

__

Image that, and you with no blood.

****

~Kagura

****

Wow, Myouga:

__

I can't believe you actually braved danger to avenge that insult. You're not so spineless as we all thought. THANKS!

****

~A thankful Kagome

****

I thought she was Inu for a second at the angle I saw her at… when I realized too late… 

__

~An embarrassed Myoga

****

You ran.

__

~A no longer surprised Kagome

****

Now look:

This type of discussion is rather limited and boring. What do I care about fleas, although I have to say it once again, only my brother would have fleas.

****

~Sesshomaru

__

And you would know?

****

~Miroku

__

Yes.

~Sessho

__

This from the guy with a frog for a servant. Enough said.

****

~Miroku

__

HEY!

****

~Sessho

****

OI!

__

For your information I do not have fleas. ONE flea who runs away all the time when I'm in dangers doesn't constitute thousands. And he's never here half the time! I think I need to take out all you guys with one good Bakuryuuha.

****

~Inuyasha

****

Dear Inu-itoto-chan:

__

Inu you can only post once.

****

~Yashira the list mommy

__

What? Why do you keep singling me out like that? 

****

~Inu

__

Better you than me, right Yashira?

****

~Signed a groping monk

****

TWACK!!!


	17. Shippo

December 14-15, 2002

Dear… (17)

By Yashira

****

Dear…

__

I don't have a lot of problems and that's only because I'm a kid. Everyone loves me and thinks I'm cute! ^^ I'm small, crafty, and good with dumb animals. (Dumb animal=Inuyasha) If I had to say I had a problem it's only because I haven't grown up yet. I'm small now, but I'm drinking milk and some day I'll be bigger. 

(That means I can finally pay back Inuyasha for all those times he rapidly hit me on the head.)

*Time passes.*

What the heck was that for!? *sniff* Kagome-chan, he hit me. Waaah.

*Time passes.*

Osuwari him again, he's still hitting me!! Sniff, where was I? OH, OH!!! *big grin* Guess what Kagome just unpacked? A whole bunch of stuff she brought back after her last trip to the well when she wasn't feeling good!!! (You know when Inuyasha was being an idiot and such) There's a whole bunch of cool stuff here!!! Oh come on, guess!! You'll never guess!

****

~A more than ecstatic Shippo!

__

P.S. It has a creamy center!!!

****

Now look here you pipsqueak:

__

You're a little brat that deserves the smacks you get so stop fucking getting Kagome to 'osuwari' me. And talking about dumb animals, you forgot to mention Kouga, he's as dumb an animal as you can get. 

You're so damn annoying, you only wish you were cute. And furthermore I don't give a damn what Kagome brought back from the well and… Oh is that chocolate?!

*time passes* 

As I was *chomp, chomp* saying *slurp, slurp*, I don't care and… Ooooh milky cream center and there's also RAMEN here!! 

****

~A salivating half-dog demon

****

Talking about Dumb animals again?

Both you and that wolf brat are dumb animals who don't have the grace to bow before the awesomeness that is me! Now bow before me and hand over your sword.

****

~The almighty Sesshomaru

****

Bow before Sesshomaru!!!

__

I, Jaken, will not let you insult my… hey, is that creamy filling?

****

~Jaken about to be taken in by creamy goodness

****

Hey you ingrate:

__

What the hell are you doing consorting with the enemy… and don't think I don't see that chocolate all over your warty face too.

****

~A displeased Sesshomaru

****

FORGIVE ME SESSHOMARU-SAMA:

__

But cream filling!!!

****

~A weeping Jaken

That is no excuse!!!

~Sesshomaru who knows better than to be taken in by something so good that it has to be bad

I will bow my head in shame.

~Jaken

****

Hey!

__

Inuyasha leave Shippo's share of the food alone! Kagome brought that for all of us and haven't you heard that chocolate isn't good for dogs? HEY! That's my share! Hirakotsu!!!

****

~Sango

__

P.S. Shippo is cute, but that Perverted monk isn't!!!

****

O_O

__

I don't feel so good now.

****

~An upset-stomach and badly throbbing headache Inuyasha

__

P.S. Don't hit me with that Boomerang, hit Miroku, he felt you up!!!

P.S.S. I didn't eat all of it, that green frog of Sesshomaru helped himself to some too.

****

Inuyasha:

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That's because you ate OUR SHARE too, that she hit you!!! Shippo wasn't kidding when he called you a dumb animal and don't blame Jaken, he only took one, you took all the rest!!!

****

~A not so happy monk about to use the Kaza Ana

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P.S. What are you talking about Sango? You so want me. Oi, Yashira hurry up and write that lemon for me and Sango.

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I have one word of advice about your Kaza Ana and Inuyasha:

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DO IT!

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~Kagura

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…

~Kanna

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Hmm:

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I'm dead, so I can't eat anything but souls. I can't see what's so hot about Chocolates anyway. Isn't it suppose to be a substitute for sex anyway?

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~A devious Kikyou

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O_O

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Is it?!

~A Wide eyed Miroku

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Hey:

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Don't you even think about it!

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~Sango

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^=^

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Too late I did.

~A grinning Miroku

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P.S. So that's why you wanted to eat some… See, that's proof that our lemon needs to be written soon… I'm much better tasting than chocolate you know.

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SLAP!

~Sango

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Owwwie.

It wasn't like them, didn't Inuyasha eat alot of them?

~Miroku

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HAHAHAH:

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Feed him as much as he wants then… Hmm... that looks good though… *chomp chomp*

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~Kouga experimenting with the now famous creamy goodness

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P.S. What was in the chocolates… I don't feel so good now…ERP.

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To who it may concern:

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That's because I, Naraku, wizzed in them!

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~A much 'relieved' Naraku

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O_o:

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You did what?!

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~Inuyasha about to puke

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o_O:

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I'm going to be sick…

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~Kouga turning green

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EWWWW

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~Sango and Miroku

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Huh?

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Hey, hey, he couldn't have, because I just brought them over and the wrapping was unopened. God, why are you guys so guilabe.

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~Kagome

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Well:

__

They're guys, what's left to answer for? Besides didn't Naraku say he'd get revenge on them when Miroku and Inuyasha, many letters ago, prevented him from sending his letter first? I think it would be safe to say, Inuyasha hasn't forgotten that threat.. and from the look of those poor trees… the stomachs of those regurgitating youkai… aren't likely to forget either.

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~Kaede who is glad she didn't touch the chocolates, just in case.


	18. Jakotsu

November 23, 2003

(Author note: I just want to say, gotcha! Plus, thanks to Aile Anna for beta reading.)

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Dear… (18)

By Yashira

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Dear…

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EVERYONE! I only have a few problems and the fact that I was dead and brought back to life by the Shikon no Kakera isn't one of them. I have a crush on a white-haired boy with kawaii dog ears, but he won't let me kill him. It's so unfair. I mean, he's really cute, not like that ugly female taijiya who likes to interrupt my fights with him, but he won't even let me get near him. I even like that cute houshi he was travelling with too and well, what am I suppose to do?

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~Signed the sexy Jakotsu

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Oi, bastard!

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EWW! How the hell could a letter like this make the list?! I'm going to tell you in a way you can understand, I AM NOT INTERESTED, NOR WILL I EVER BE INTERESTED, NOR WILL I EVER CHANGE MY MIND, AND IT'S NOT ONE OF THOSE MAYBES, OR IFFYS, OR POSSIBLE OTHERWISES…. I HATE YOU. KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS AWAY FROM ME OR I'LL JUST KAZE NO KIZU YOUR SORRY ASS AGAIN!

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~A pissed off Inuyasha.

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P.S. How in the world can you think you're sexy?!

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Kukuku:

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What Inuyasha is saying, is that he's more than happy to make your acquaintance.

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~An amused Naraku

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Hey:

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You know, I read both yours and Inuyasha's reply and I have to say. HE is NOT happy to meet that strange, sick man. And the reason I know this is because I AM NOT HAPPY TO HAVE MET HIM. I want women to call me cool and suteki, but when it comes out of a man's mouth… in the same tone of "let me hump your leg" it's just WRONG!

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~Preparing to Kaza Ana Jakotsu and his letter

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P.S. I am taking no prisoners!

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Um, Jakotsu:

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I think you might want to lay off the funny face paint and such and just give us the shikon no kakera in your neck. It will spare a lot of trouble and make Inuyasha relax more if you're not around.

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~Kagome

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*shrugs*

I can always shoot him in the neck. It doesn't bother me. Although, I'm curious, didn't Miroku and Sango answer together in their last letter to Shippo? If you remember the chocolates everyone was eating about, they both said "Eww" together.

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~Just making cuz she's bored, Kikyou

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YUCK!

I remember that. It WASN'T funny Naraku!! I was seriously sick. To this day I still don't know if it was because of proximity to Inu-koru or if you really did something to them, but I'm going to kill you anyway. That was a bad joke to play!

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~Kouga

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P.S. Yeah, and I just realized that the chocolate, like your reviving the Shichinin-tai Jakotsu, are equally disgusting. I'm just glad that my manliness did not attract that disgusting pervert. It has to say something about Inu-koru, though. One word: FEMMY!

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Um, you know:

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I don't remember.

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~Sango pretending it didn't happen.

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Oh come on Sango:

They all know you were with me.

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~Miroku, feeling he has to assert his masculinity since Jakotsu was the only one to show active interest in him

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SHUT UP KOUGA!

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If I put my hair up like you, I would look like a pansy!!! Gees, why do I have to attract freaks like Jakotsu and wimpy wolves?!

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~Inuyasha trying to take both the attention off him and putting it back where it belongs

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P.S. And come to think of it Sango and Miroku were acting a little weird in the other Letter. 

****

Grr, not you too:

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So we were together, well…

*Time passes, before Sango comes back and signs her letter*

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~Sango

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Well:

In case you're wondering, she's so embarrassed with admitting it, she's gone to get herself prettied up for me -ack!

*time passes*

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Well, this just goes to show, that if I didn't learn it in the first couple letters, I did now. NEVER write a reply when they're in the same room to read it. Oh my head. Sango, you didn't have to hit me so hard.

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~Miroku

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Hey!

Well, a lot of help you all were! I thought you were suppose to give me some advice, but instead you're too self absorbed in the affairs of one man and a woman. What's so hot about being hetero anyway? What about me? I'm a guy and I like another guy. Are you all homophobic?!

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~An annoyed Jakotsu 

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Well:

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Let me answer it like this. There's a time and place for everything right? Unfortunately for you, most of us don't have the time or the place to deal with a Jakotsu/Inuyasha pairing. It's just too (well, for me cuz I don't write slash/yaoi) disgusting. You want sympathy - find yourself a Jakotsu fan. I love Kagome/Inuyasha pairing, or Kagome/Miroku pairing, or Kagome/Kouga pairing, Miroku/Sango, or Rin(adult)/Sessy… you get the idea right?

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~Yashira

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Oi, are you sure it's not YOU who needs help?

__

A simple Inuyasha/Kagome pairing would still make the point across, but the way you have it, you're turning my Kagome into a slut. AND NOT JUST ANY SLUT, but Kagome/Kouga? WHAT the fuck are you on? How can you even suggest that wimpy wolf in the same line with Kagome?

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~A disgusted Inuyasha

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You know, Inuyasha-itoto:

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You're lucky I don't write slash/yaoi, or I would do a story with you and Miroku. Now get off my back! I happen to like Kouga a lot.

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~Yashira who shouldn't have to explain herself

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;_;

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Why did you have to include me in that?

~ ;_; A crying Miroku

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P.S. If she likes Kouga a lot do you think she'll do a Inuyasha/Kouga fic?

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NO!

SHE BETTER –THE HELL- NOT!

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~Inuyasha preparing to Kaze no Kizu his older sister if she does.

Yeah right, don't make me laugh!

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There's no way I'll get caught dead doing a dirty fic with Inu-koru! I mean, I know it would increase his standing to be seen with me, but I'm a one woman-man. I don't do dogs. Oi, Kagome, lets go out sometime!

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~Kouga

You're in luck, I don't do wolves except to BAKURUHA THEM!

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BAKURUHA!!!!!

~INUYASHA

*GRUMBLES*

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Da…mn it, yo…u're de…str…oying… th..e… we…b p..age… St-op it!

****

~Yashira who p…rays… the server…has..n't… d…ie…d…


End file.
